found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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