so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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