I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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