dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I have tasted many bathrooms
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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