They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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