I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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