Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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