I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
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I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
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they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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