I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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