Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
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Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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