Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize