erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
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We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
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Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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