sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize