we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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