i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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