Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
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and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
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For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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