You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he puts the penis in happiness.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize