Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize