If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize