he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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