I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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