Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Actions speak louder than pants.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
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It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
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New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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