can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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