And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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