I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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