Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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