The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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