i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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