think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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