it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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