No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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