I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize