The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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