I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
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I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
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I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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