Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize