When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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