I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize