that's an acceptable place to lick
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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