he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
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I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
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I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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