people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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