you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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