Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
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Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
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I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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