do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
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you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
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Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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