y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize