You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
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Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
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He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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