if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
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i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
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I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize