the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize