You're a womanizer and a bitch.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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