and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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