I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i think im in europe. pls send help
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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